your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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