yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
