This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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