Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
