just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
