# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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