He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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