You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.