This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
