conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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