Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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