I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize