Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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