please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
