he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
