yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
