Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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