bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
