I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
