I'm eating all of the evidence.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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