it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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