I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
