The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
