White coat. Heels.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
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we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
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And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me