the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize