i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
