Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
