So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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