I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
