ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
