At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
