He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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