did you get engaged???
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
