Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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