We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
