She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
