arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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