Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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