Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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