Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
sex in a hospital.. check
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
