how can u be prego again
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
