I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
