He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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