I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
