Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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