Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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