i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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