I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
