I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Randomize
