Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
