plz talk dirty to me
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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