Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize