Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
