Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
