Your face is a jimmy john
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
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Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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