I am puke
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
