When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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