I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
