I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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