did you get engaged???
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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