Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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