Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she smelled like a LAN party
my shit smells like andre
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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